Inspired by Five Minute Friday prompt: Fight* on Lisa Jo Baker’s Blog http://lisajobaker.com/2014/01/five-minute-friday-fight/
What should you be? How should you act? What should you write? How should you feel? What should you say? How should you live?
For many of us, the ‘shoulds’ are deeply engraved in our heads. We were made to believe that living up to these ‘shoulds’ would make us good people, that we would get closer to the ideal human. We were told that anything deviating just a wee bit from the ideal is bad.
Yes, it is these simple terms most of us are trying to set our lives according to: Good and bad.
Many fruitful thoughts are blocked because of the ideal human. Our brains are clogged by all these standards we feel forced to live up to. If we do not comply with these, we are not worth being.
You should be stable. You should only be happy. You should only think of others. You should always have energy. You should always race for the best career seen fit for you. You should never lie. You should only befriend perfect people. You should only have positive thoughts.
How about the relief found in seeing yourself for who you really are? You can be unstable but trustable. You can be fun and moody. You can hate lying but be willing to lie to ensure the happiness of people you care for. You can be friends with people who make you happy to be with and not just linger around some characters simply because they are picture perfect.
You do not need to be energetic to run around all the time, to socialize, to cook, to clean, to read. You can enjoy spending a day in bed without having to account for these moments of stolen laziness. You can choose to do something simply because it gives you pleasure and not because it would be appreciated on a resume. You can be selfish some days when you need a retreat from responsibilities. You might love hugging one day and hate it the next.
These do not mean that you are a bad person. You are who you are, and this is a merit on its own, whether recognized by the concept of the flawless human or not.
Fearing who we really are for the sake of an artificially constructed excellence can be tedious. Reading what is really on our minds without being muddled by vague notions of perfection picked up here and there is liberating. Sometimes ideals are not so ideal. The only thing we should do is fight to be ourselves despite the doctrines of the perfect being carved in our brains. This is a fight worthwhile.
*The rule on Five Minute Friday is to write for 5 minutes without any editing. I cheated… After writing for 10 minutes from 9.35 to 9.45, I did some finishing touches here and there (and more) afterwards.