Tag Archives: baby

My new action packed belly…

Pregnant Nude with green belly by Egon Schiele This work is in the public domain in those countries with a copyright term of life of the author plus 90 years or less.
Pregnant Nude with green belly
by Egon Schiele
This work is in the public domain in those countries with a copyright term of life of the author plus 90 years or less.

I felt it move! At Week 18, as expected, I guess…

I had a sort of movement inside before, but it felt like a vein pulsing or a bit of gas finding its way around.

But 2 days a ago, it was somewhat different. You know when someone accidentally brushes against you? I felt that inside my abdomen.

And this morning, it was definitely there! It felt like a pulse on the belly, but a little more pronounced than usual. I thought if I touched my belly, I would feel it, but it stopped. I thought we would high five each other… Maybe still too early for that.

So this is what it feels like… a slight brushing inside…

The weird thing is, I am now getting bit by bit why everyone thinks pregnancy is such a great experience.

‘Le bebe’ is in me, close to me, and we are having “quality time” that we will not be sharing with anyone else… Because no one else is in my shoes, or in my belly 😀 No one else can know how exactly it feels to be so close to another being. And to have my body as a place of dwelling, a safe enclosure for a new life, a life ideally I am going to be responsible for…

Damn, I just realized I have gone all maternal…

It also scares me to feel the attachment grow by day, considering that I will be getting the amniocentesis results in a month and I might suddenly go from an aspiring mother to… carrier of a hollowed abdomen if I may be dramatic.

I am still trying to keep it as “scientifically cool” as possible, to be prepared for all sorts of amnio results, but it is not so very easy. Especially when pregnant women, mothers with tiny babies and baby stuff are jumping at my selective perception…

Especially when people keep asking me whether I know the sex or what name we have chosen… the name we have suspended the search for until the much anticipated results are ready.

Well, I will enjoy it while it lasts. Especially my new belly… It reminds me of the days when as kids we had a balloon, how at some point it ended up beneath our shirts… And do you remember how it moved when poked? As a whole. It feels like if I poke my belly, it will move around as a whole, as if unattached to my skin…

That’s it for pregnancy news on my part for the week… Will soon be back with more “action” inside!

The decision that follows “What if”

The Difficult Decision by Stefano Novo This work is in the public domain in those countries with a copyright term of life of the author plus 80 years or less.
The Difficult Decision
by Stefano Novo
This work is in the public domain in those countries with a copyright term of life of the author plus 80 years or less.

Yes, the ultrasound and seeing that tiny being in my belly doing disco moves incessantly, being astonished by how magically the human body, or any living creature’s body functions was groundbreaking and eye opening for me.

However, 5 minutes later, while I was wiping the semi-liquid thing off my belly, hubby and I were asking questions about the trisomy (Down’s syndrome) tests…

You see, I could get the trisomy test done right then and there, but what all the receptionists, the hospital officials and the nice assistant asking me whether I would like the ultrasound done blah blah forgot to mention was that for the trisomy test to be conducted along with the ultrasound which itself cost 130 dollars, I would have to be paying an extra 400 dollars.

So, being not so poor but definitely NOT rich, we said, no thanks, we would rather get the free state supported trisomy test done.

But apparently, to receive the results for that test, we would have to wait 6 weeks!

Naturally, hubby asked the question resonating in my head: would it be too late?

Too late for what? I had to put it into words, “to terminate the pregnancy”…

You see, I have always been pro-choice, not being pro-choice never even occurred to me. When I heard about so many Americans being anti-choice, I could not believe it, a country that is supposed to be “the centre of all sorts of choices” (this opinion of mine has quickly been vanishing, as I find out more and more about the USA, now living so nearby)… Every woman should have the right to refuse to give birth to a baby they believe they cannot take care of… No matter what their circumstances may be, whether the baby was conceived in as terrible circumstances as a rape, or during a light hearted love affair that ended with a “woops”.

I felt weird, having to say “terminate the pregnancy” when I was marveling at my tiny baby a few minutes ago, but, although a child with certain congenital diseases may grow up to be a healthy member of the society, I also had to watch a few of my mother’s friends give up on their own lives so that they could carry their child to the bathroom several times a day, feed them, change them and make up a life for them, all the while the child seemed to be unaware of anything going on around them.

Therefore, rather than selfishly permit a possibility for such hardships to affect both our lives as parents and our child’s, I would rather have an abortion and give everyone a better chance at a fully lived out life…

First Ultrasound: A Landmark

Coliseum Theater New Orleans The building was damaged in Hurricane Katrina in August 2005; work was ongoing to restore it when it caught fire in February 2006 and was a total loss and the ruins demolished. This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Coliseum_Theater_New_Orleans_To_Have_and_Have_Not.jpg
Coliseum Theater New Orleans
The building was damaged in Hurricane Katrina in August 2005; work was ongoing to restore it when it caught fire in February 2006 and was a total loss and the ruins demolished.
This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Coliseum_Theater_New_Orleans_To_Have_and_Have_Not.jpg

My pregnancy is advancing. 3 months already… I realized that pregnancy came with its surprises and I wondered, how come so many women got through the same thing but so little is told about some experiences throughout the whole process…

A few days ago turned out to be a landmark of surprises for me. I finally met my obstetrician, who seems very nice. I was expecting to be brushed off after a brief look at my blood tests… but I was actually asked if I wanted get an ultrasound done… Something I thought was unreachable here in Canada. As far as I can tell, most clinics do not have ultrasounds… And even if they do, it is hard to meet all the requirements to get to one, to feel the cool touch of one on the tummy…

So I thought the soonest I would be able to have the cold, transparent, semi liquid thing squished on my belly and be used as a skating ring for an ultrasound gadget would be in a month, at four months, that is…

Well, apparently, I was supposed to have gotten my ultrasound sooner… As told by my obstetrician, no other person I saw until I finally made it to her said anything about that! Come on, this is once in a lifetime (for me) experience and you guys are making me miss out on stuff…

Plus, I paid 130 dollars for it… The result: There really is a living thing in me!!! It was incredible… I shed a few tears, and could not believe, though it may sound cliché, that my hubby and I could have unprotected sex and produce a living being!

I never thought much about human’s or any other creature’s ability to procreate, but since that day at the obstetrician, this has changed for me… I cannot believe that the body whose only function was to move around, eat and shit until 3 months ago has now taken on a new mission, producing the right environment for a new living being to flourish…

Cheesy but still, it all gets one to wonder…

I was also astounded by how much that little thing of 5 cm, a tiny replica of the smallest baby, complete with a set of legs and arms and a huge round head (much like my husband’s) was moving! No one ever had told me that babies move no matter how small they are. I thought it would be sleeping and resting like a sea cucumber!

But no! It was so active that the doctor had difficulty making some measurements. Now I see why every parent to be, on seeing their kid on the ultrasound decide it will be a footballer…

Mine will be a dancer… despite the giant daddy head 😛

Hormonal resentment of the week: Of all the screenshots my dearest doctor (whom I will be seeing maybe 6 more times?) before labor only to be greeted by a completely strange person dressed in green to be by my side as one of the most valued parts of my body are being ripped apart…

The Holy Pee

Le péché originel (Hispanic origin) This image (or other media file) is in the public domain because its copyright has expired.
Le péché originel
(Hispanic origin)
This image (or other media file) is in the public domain because its copyright has expired.

Sooo, it was a baby. I knew it and expected it, but the pee test just refused to show it. Last weekend, even the hormones could not deny the truth, and finally showed everyone I told about my suspicions, a great amount of people, that I was not imagining all the weird symptoms I was having.

Of course I went ahead and announced to almost everyone I know that I have been impregnated, the hubby scored a point, that his babies can swim, that I still have a few eggs still functioning in me blah blah…

Apparently it is bad manners or bad luck to announce before three months are over because there is a great chance for a miscarriage. I am thinking, if that should happen, I still have a couple of reasons to be thankful for. Not any cutie pie pretexts, like I am thankful fro having been with my poppy seed for a few months in my belly… Come on, right now, it is shaped more like an alien, so f… it, I don’t see much of a reason to try to bond with it, although I am having some weird lovey dovey emotions…

There is still a great possibility that it may turn into a miscarriage or some chance for major defects to be for it to be removed etc. So I am a little skeptical at the moment about having the pregnancy bonding moments.

And, I might still feel thankful if things go wrong, because it will give me opportunity to drink coffee and wine as much as I want to while thinking what sort of deep swamp I got myself into, plus a chance to move away from the work I have become chained to… If the whole pregnancy works out, I will have a three year blank in my CV. 2 years I spent here plus a year of leave… What a great place to take up working again… If the weird alien decides to move away from its current location much sooner than 9 months, I am thinking of going back to teaching in a few months. If not teaching, waitressing, as long as I am not wasting my energy at a desk.

Well, right now, I have become a week counter… That is how pregnant I am…

Blogging, Gaming (unwillingly), Sculpting and Conceiving

The Millinery Shop by Edgar Degas This work is in the public domain.
The Millinery Shop
by Edgar Degas
This work is in the public domain.

Some updates about life… aka I want to blabber about “me”.

I could not spare as much time on the blog as I wanted because I had a lot of work… ehem games to play… Just a reminder, I am a translator and tester at a mobile game company… So gaming is work for me…

Another reminder, I don’t like video games. Before working here, I thought I just did not know enough about games to get hooked on them. Recently, I have come to the realization that I want to like them because I like geeks. But it is about time I admitted I am not one…

And I completed my sculpture class without missing a session. Big deal for me, since I love quitting stuff, but I enjoyed almost all sessions of the course. I would have loved to post some pictures here but I am still doing the little bit I can to keep the blog invisible to people I know, so I can’t.

The responses to my “masterpieces” were diverse… Some laughed… A little too much… Some were interested in the material rather than the work. Others were very much surprised by what a person, as in me, can create in 3D. 😀

Whatever the response, I was proud to be able to create something. No matter how simple or amateurish the statuettes may be, I am happy to see the result of my own creativity, something I have missed a lot working in translation for games where most text is devoid of any depth. Not all, but most…

And, another piece of info that can be, let’s be honest, of little interest to you :), is I am trying to conceive…

Now, I have a question, how do people manage to keep it all discreet until they are like 5 months pregnant? I am announcing, almost to everyone, the days of my intercourse!

I am making huge fuss about the coffee and wine I am trying to avoid. I am already asking around about hospitals and obstetricians, maternity leave and details about dealing with pregnancy.

And of course I am considering a baby blog…

Ugh, I am going to be one of these annoying moms who cannot shut up about their kids, aren’t I? If, of course, I ever manage to make it to delivery… But, for that, I need to be pregnant first… I know that much about biology…

PS: I am so impatient to see the results of my conceptive efforts, I almost peed on my smart phone… I may be overdependent on my phone’s intelligence…