Tag Archives: job

The Holy Pee

Le péché originel (Hispanic origin) This image (or other media file) is in the public domain because its copyright has expired.
Le péché originel
(Hispanic origin)
This image (or other media file) is in the public domain because its copyright has expired.

Sooo, it was a baby. I knew it and expected it, but the pee test just refused to show it. Last weekend, even the hormones could not deny the truth, and finally showed everyone I told about my suspicions, a great amount of people, that I was not imagining all the weird symptoms I was having.

Of course I went ahead and announced to almost everyone I know that I have been impregnated, the hubby scored a point, that his babies can swim, that I still have a few eggs still functioning in me blah blah…

Apparently it is bad manners or bad luck to announce before three months are over because there is a great chance for a miscarriage. I am thinking, if that should happen, I still have a couple of reasons to be thankful for. Not any cutie pie pretexts, like I am thankful fro having been with my poppy seed for a few months in my belly… Come on, right now, it is shaped more like an alien, so f… it, I don’t see much of a reason to try to bond with it, although I am having some weird lovey dovey emotions…

There is still a great possibility that it may turn into a miscarriage or some chance for major defects to be for it to be removed etc. So I am a little skeptical at the moment about having the pregnancy bonding moments.

And, I might still feel thankful if things go wrong, because it will give me opportunity to drink coffee and wine as much as I want to while thinking what sort of deep swamp I got myself into, plus a chance to move away from the work I have become chained to… If the whole pregnancy works out, I will have a three year blank in my CV. 2 years I spent here plus a year of leave… What a great place to take up working again… If the weird alien decides to move away from its current location much sooner than 9 months, I am thinking of going back to teaching in a few months. If not teaching, waitressing, as long as I am not wasting my energy at a desk.

Well, right now, I have become a week counter… That is how pregnant I am…

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Coming to Canada (2)

At 5 am, my parents and I arrived at the airport and met my husband and his family. Being grown up and all, we both chose to spend our last night in Turkey with our own parents. Many people were surprised at our choice but I think it makes sense; after all, we would be spending a lot of time in the same house in the days to come.

I was hyper energetic and my heart was racing faster than a purebred on steroids (had to google this). Colors were brighter, future was promising despite the doubts in my head and I was with my hubby whom I trusted to hold my hand whenever I needed (ehem). That was true happiness.

Thank god, I was not naïve enough to believe that these feelings would be ever lasting. I knew that in the months to come, I would be going crazy either looking for jobs and wondering why noone ever responded to my applications or even worse, still waiting for the damn work permit, and of course it was the latter case. I knew that we would be stuck doing the same activities as we would be too broke to “spice up” our daily routines, which would lead to some kind of frustration in our relationship every once in a while. I also knew that I would be feeling very lonely, since lacking a work permit and study permit along with money means there are few ways I could socialize.

Yet, I still did enjoy these first months, as I had enough time to take long walks through the city and daydream about the shops, jobs and lives behind the building walls I passed by. It was once again in these first few months that I did everything I can to find out about events and festivals in the city. I believed that from then on, life could only get better. I thought that as soon as I found a job in this country where human rights are respected, where people can express their wishes freely, where life is easier, our lives would only be on the rise for a better standard of living.

That’s where I was mistaken…