Tag Archives: socializing

SWPD- Summer-Winter Personality Disorder- coined by me based on me in Montreal

Mahabhrath Duryodhana Vs Bhimsena
Mahabhrath Duryodhana Vs Bhimsena Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:%275%27_The_Mahabharata,_Duryodhana_versus_Bhimsena,_Sanskrit_Epic_India.jpg

When I first got to Montreal in august 2012, the hottest and most humid month (at least it felt so to me) of the whole year, I could not help asking the people we had found through airbnb why they spent all their time on the balcony. They wanted to enjoy the hot summer having spent the whole freezing winter sealed in their apartment. Then I realized that actually, every night, all balconies seemed irresistibly crowded and lively with people, wine, weed and laughter.

But I still could not wrap my mind around this balcony addicted life. I had after all come from a country where we have four seasons and the winters are cool enough. And yes, we enjoy summers out on the balconies but definitely not as much as these Montrealeans…

This year, I realized how this whole deal works out. A Quebecoise friend explained it was as if she had double personalities. In the winter, she became extremely solitaire and anti social, while as soon as spring induced a little warmth into the streets, she became a people’s person. This turned out to be such an accurate diagnosis for me as well. Throughout the winter, with a cold that goes down to -40 degrees, it becomes impossible to move the windows even a cm since they are shut frozen. All you want to do is watch movies or read or do any lonely activity you enjoy, rather than be forced to step out into the energy consuming freezing cold. On some days, a warm bed is so much more attractive than seeing people even on Friday nights…

When the snow melted, a personality change took me over. I am biking everywhere, finding everyone agreeable, adorable, loving and gentle. I am enjoying the courses I registered for and even finding the Quebecois French of the teachers somewhat cute. Drinking and socializing more but cleaning and cooking much less. Feeling less depressed and more hopeful… But also creating less time for this bloggy, which sort of helped me through the winter and in a way added some sense to the senseless job I attend every day.

So, although I am definitely going to enjoy the coming season to the fullest with gatherings in parks and festivals lighting up the city, one thing my summer personality should learn from my winter personality is to write more. That is what writing experts strongly advise, right? Time to heed some wise advice…

PS: I wonder how a conversation between my winter and summer personalities would go… Terribly quiet, I bet. While one would be too sleepy and pensive to talk, the other would be too hyper and a little tipsy to sit still for a meaningful conversation.

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Lazy Weekend Love

Yesterday we got home a little too drunk on microbrewery…

I tried one extremely heavy beer and one really light one and there was one that made me lose count…

At home, I fell asleep on the couch before I got a chance to change into my pj… Hubby slept on the sofa in his room with his coat on…

And thus, with the light of Saturday morning gazing at me in between my half shut eyelids and my breathing still tuned to sleep mode, I heard the call for our LAZY WEEKEND echoing through our alcohol loaded snores!!

I love lazy weekends! I love staying at home, generally on the couch, mostly on the same spot on the couch, always with a device to get connected, with a few dozes of snooze in between the loading web pages…

Is this AGING? Is this growing old? My parents used to spend almost the whole weekend snoring and reading newspapers and snoring some more. I hated it. I used to think they had no life and the way they were spending their free time made their lives devoid of any meaning. Now, I am in that very same position and the feeling I get is the exact opposite!!!

I don’t want to go out and force a smile for people I barely know, just so that I can find a ‘social’ pretext to leave home. Now, I only want to have real relations with real friends even if it means seeing them once a month rather than having superficial talks every weekend at large parties where I hardly know anyone and diving my way through a sea of people until I can assume that this one person I meet has a personality I might have something in common with.

Now, on Fridays, rather than going out and staying up late at clubs and pubs with a herd of ‘friends’, the idea that I will get to spend the whole weekend on my own, doing only what I feel like doing, without having to put on socially acceptable behavior, without any makeup, with the smell of sleep still hanging onto my pores and the pajamas I am determined to wear for the next two days makes me feel ecstatic.

No phones, no facebook, no social networking…

Only me slouched on the couch, surfing the net passively, typing a little bit, reading a few chapters, watching some shows, spooning hubby a couple of minutes, sipping some coffee and enjoying the creative joy of laziness for 48 hours…

That is what makes me happy now… And if this is aging, I like it…

Coming to Canada (2)

At 5 am, my parents and I arrived at the airport and met my husband and his family. Being grown up and all, we both chose to spend our last night in Turkey with our own parents. Many people were surprised at our choice but I think it makes sense; after all, we would be spending a lot of time in the same house in the days to come.

I was hyper energetic and my heart was racing faster than a purebred on steroids (had to google this). Colors were brighter, future was promising despite the doubts in my head and I was with my hubby whom I trusted to hold my hand whenever I needed (ehem). That was true happiness.

Thank god, I was not naïve enough to believe that these feelings would be ever lasting. I knew that in the months to come, I would be going crazy either looking for jobs and wondering why noone ever responded to my applications or even worse, still waiting for the damn work permit, and of course it was the latter case. I knew that we would be stuck doing the same activities as we would be too broke to “spice up” our daily routines, which would lead to some kind of frustration in our relationship every once in a while. I also knew that I would be feeling very lonely, since lacking a work permit and study permit along with money means there are few ways I could socialize.

Yet, I still did enjoy these first months, as I had enough time to take long walks through the city and daydream about the shops, jobs and lives behind the building walls I passed by. It was once again in these first few months that I did everything I can to find out about events and festivals in the city. I believed that from then on, life could only get better. I thought that as soon as I found a job in this country where human rights are respected, where people can express their wishes freely, where life is easier, our lives would only be on the rise for a better standard of living.

That’s where I was mistaken…